The big dig.

I dig.
Despite my best attempts to avoiddistractrunfromdisassociateresist
I dig.
Expecting karmaofmurderingsmallchildren
oratleasthideousfirebreathingdemonmonsters
I dig.
Dig deeper.
What’shidingthere’ssomthinghidingsomethingIhidsomethingbig
somethingcausingthismadnesssomething
I dig.

And one day, sore and dirty and lost, I hit a vein.

Squintingsquirmingohshitdon’tlookdon’tlookdon’tlook
don’tbreathewhosedumbideawasthis

And laughter comes.
What’sthiswho’slaughingwhyistherelaughing

Laughter and more laughter
WhyamIlaughingthismustbeoneofthoseinappropriateresponsestoterror

Laughing until I can’t breathe.
Laughing more.
Laughing tears and joy and love andohmygodhowdidIneverknowthisisinme
All this.
All this.

Writing down the bones*

I don’t know how I’d ever be a painter. As a writer, I edit every time I re-read, usually taking things out. I suspect this technique may not work out so well on a canvas. (Although I recently heard that when painting with oils, you can put saran wrap on the painting to [...]

The break up

So I’m at that lousy moment. My Ego and I have had a longstanding love affair, intercepted with bouts of Buddhism where I decided to pay it less mind, but it’s been pretty hot and heavy again lately. And here I find my self figuring out how to call it quits. Once and [...]