Upside Down

I’ve never done this before, but I want to dedicate this post to my dear friend Tuaca, who I love, and she knows it.
I went to my first aerial dance class yesterday.  I swung around and climbed and went upside down on a big circus rope and hanging fabric like those super pretty people [...]

Procrastination Station

I don’t need NaNoWriMo’s procrastination station.  I have an infinite supply of my own. Like this blog.  I should be writing many, many words right now. In my novel, that is.  Instead I’m writing words here.  Because my brain is working like these sentences. Small and random and not well put together.
So here’s my random [...]

Waterings

I was driving down Highway One tonight in a delightful, blissed out, open heart, giddy, love-for-humanity place. I saw a bumpersticker on the car in front of me – something demanding-sounding that I don’t remember – and I had a sudden little fantasy: what if every car in the world had only bumper stickers that [...]

The great debates

It’s another glorious day in paradise – hot sun, blue sky, big ocean, sun setting and I’m eating chocolates dipped in peanut butter and drinking a blueberry Izze.  I’m in the honeymoon phase of a new love affair with life – serenading and writing poems to it, making dates, walking around all giddy. To this [...]

Firefighting

Part of me wants to sit and write forever – typing my digestion of this past week, month, year. Another part of me wants to sit in a silent room– having nothing to say, nothing to write, nothing to do.
Tonight I’ve settled upon my red pajamas, renting Juno and eating a dove bar for dinner. [...]

The big dig.

I dig.
Despite my best attempts to avoiddistractrunfromdisassociateresist
I dig.
Expecting karmaofmurderingsmallchildren
oratleasthideousfirebreathingdemonmonsters
I dig.
Dig deeper.
What’shidingthere’ssomthinghidingsomethingIhidsomethingbig
somethingcausingthismadnesssomething
I dig.

And one day, sore and dirty and lost, I hit a vein.

Squintingsquirmingohshitdon’tlookdon’tlookdon’tlook
don’tbreathewhosedumbideawasthis

And laughter comes.
What’sthiswho’slaughingwhyistherelaughing

Laughter and more laughter
WhyamIlaughingthismustbeoneofthoseinappropriateresponsestoterror

Laughing until I can’t breathe.
Laughing more.
Laughing tears and joy and love andohmygodhowdidIneverknowthisisinme
All this.
All this.

The break up

So I’m at that lousy moment. My Ego and I have had a longstanding love affair, intercepted with bouts of Buddhism where I decided to pay it less mind, but it’s been pretty hot and heavy again lately. And here I find my self figuring out how to call it quits. Once and [...]

Love song

my sharpest angles have been poking out
without regard for the room I’m in or the clothes I’m wearing
and I’m feeling the full force of my not-sorryness about it.
I’ll poke.
and you can move.
all this time being mother hen to the whole world,
lining your nest with feathers,
(and yours.)
(and yours.)
I understand it may [...]

23 miles per hour

The wind won’t stop in Big Sur. For a week now the wind hasn’t taken a break. We’re having a beautiful spring – the lilies and irises are up everywhere, it’s green and blue and sun in every direction – so I feel a little bit bad complaining. I saw one Iowan [...]