Waterings

I was driving down Highway One tonight in a delightful, blissed out, open heart, giddy, love-for-humanity place. I saw a bumpersticker on the car in front of me – something demanding-sounding that I don’t remember – and I had a sudden little fantasy: what if every car in the world had only bumper stickers that were kind, loving reminders?  Stickers everywhere that said things like “Receive.” or “Enjoy.” or “Thank you.”

Maybe I’ll start a business.

This reminded me of all the little wisdoms and reassurances I’ve been writing for myself every morning, which reminded me of a list of “good parent messages” that my friend Linda dictated to me over a glass of Pinot at the Big Sur Bakery the other day.  I know this list is part of some probably copyrighted teaching I should credit**.  Someone, presumably with a psycho-something background, created this list – a conglomeration of the primary messages we (ideally) should have received (but almost none of us did) as kids.  The list is intended to be something practiced and spoken by the internalized parent we all now carry around in us.

For some reason tonight, sitting in the middle of my spontaneous compassion for all of us and our foibles and perfections, I want more than anything for me and you (yes, you) and the whole wide wounded world to hear and receive and know each of these things. Unflinchingly and in your bones.

I love you.

I want you.

You are special to me.

I see you and hear you.

I love you and I give you permission to be different from me.

It’s not what you do but who you are that I love.

I’ll take care of you.

I’ll be there for you.

I’ll be there for you even when you die.

You don’t have to be alone anymore.

You don’t have to be afraid anymore.

You can trust me.

Sometimes I will tell you no and that’s because I love you.

My love will make you well.

I welcome and cherish your love.

(you might want to read it again.

slowly.

out loud.)

Can you imagine what a world it would be if we all knew these things?

As Linda said to me, on the dark days, reciting this list can have the miraculous effect of actually feeling like someone else is speaking it – that “it’s like drops of water on a wilting flower.”  I love that.

**Since posting this, I have since learned that credit goes to Jack Rosenberg and Beverly Morse. (Thanks!)

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Waterings

  1. awesome. and… YES! to the bumper stickers! do it! aren’t you supposed to be doing something you love for $500 this month? maybe it’s positive bumper stickers! love love love that idea.

    and love love love the giddy, love-for-all place.

  2. look at all those exclamation points!

  3. thank you for this, sweet!! it seems that, no matter how happy and right things are going in my life, it is SO COMFORTING to see, hear, and feel these words. i am fortunate to have come from the most loving mother in the world. however, as you expressed, we are now our OWN parents. and sometimes, my little girl needs to hear these words from her OWN mother- the grown up me.

    i love you!

  4. It’s so wonderful to hear you “sing” again. I’ve read everything you’ve written this month–twice, and I know I’ll read it all again tomorrow. I’m so proud of your letter to the editors on Proposition 8 and I hear your heart speak so bravely to all who will listen to your wisdom. I’m especially drawn to your list. I need to hear it and I need to remember to say it often to all those I love. I’ll put it on the refrigerator and maybe it will help me be as brave and smart and independent and kind as you are.

    I’m trying to be stronger. I’m trying hard to find courage to face the mean parts of life. Your list will help me. Thank you. I love you.
    XXOO, Mom

  5. Dennis Goettel

    As always, you’re my girl!

    Love,
    Dad

  6. Linda

    Reading these messages always gives me chills, then a wonderful happy warm feeling. I have them on my desktop, right next to a glowing picture of my true feline lover, Romeo, gazing at me with his golden eyes.

    So, I’m parented by a deceased cat, emitting love and wise words (via the Rosenbergs, but still) I imagine them coming from the powerful force of LOVE in this world, always there, just waiting for us to feel it.

    Hooray, Lisa, for sharing your love. YES to those bumper stickers, too, a fabulous idea. I want mine to say, Thank you!

  7. Drew

    Instead of: I’ll be there for you even when you die, I would say, ” lets be here together now”.

    I’ll be there for you after I die. (Hopefully in positive teachings and memories).

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