snapshots

head loll down and to one side
jaw slack
chest balloon: blow in, out

see flowers in the dark
see them
think about work
soundtrack: pulse, night, honey

remember what happened
obsess
whisper mantras
psychic message in bottle: delivered

drive
stop for kitten
wonder if

hands push out skin suit
hard
from inside ribs   face   skull
more with
each intolerance.

cooperation is a choice.

wrap it tighter.
I want to feel what I’m breaking

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4 Comments

Filed under lisa goettel, poetry

4 responses to “snapshots

  1. This sounds like the inside of my head at times…a familiar place here this morning!

  2. this feels violent and makes me wonder where you’ve been and what’s been up. hm. cryptic, harsh, and still lovely.

  3. Whoa, Lisa, goosebumps AGAIN.

    It’s important to feel what we’re breaking, what we’re breaking open, into new forms.
    And while the “pain-body” may not be “sexy” as I said the other night, in a way, it is.
    In the most terrible, naked, intimate way imaginable.

    what amazing lessons are ours to savor now.
    I love you, sweet one.

  4. Thank you, my friends who hug, inspire, help, nudge and remind me with your thoughtful comments, and your own writings. I read your words, and I appreciate you.

    I’m feeling especially needy for this kind of feedback right now. I say this kind, because I’m less interested in advice or positive reinforcements these days (though there’s a place for those too), but am really craving open, honest, meaty “this is how your words land in me” feedback. It gets challenging to hold perspective after hours alone on the mountain and I want to be a better writer.

    P – your feedback inspired a re-write. Your words violent and harsh were useful. Reading it again with these words, I found lines that needed softening and clarifying, and it helped me own the places where this is definitely describes a harsh and violent process.

    Cryptic made me cringe. I’ve had a mantra for myself lately… crypic = can’t connect. I do like sparse and roomy writing, but I have erred on the side of cryptic for my entire poetic life and know it gets in the way of really connecting with readers. I don’t want to be the voice behind the curtain… I want to be big, but graspable. Actual and fleshy. And I’m finding it scary to reveal more – the fear being that stripping off another layer turns my poems from some alluring mystery into florescent lit windows to my unsexy humanness. (That no one could possibly like.) But the intention is clear. I know my writing is better when I challenge myself to reveal and I am experimenting with de-cryptifying.

    I’ll post the re-write shortly. May I ask, please, again, for your reflections?

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